Maddy's Story
I can't remember being told I was Adopted I was too young. My Adoptive Mom (MOM)died when I was 13 and my Adoptive Dad (DAD)died when I was 18 but I had more love in those years than most people because I was "chosen" by them. I always felt there was a piece missing like a jigsaw. Questions on forms like any hereditary illnesses I couldn't answer. I searched for my birth sister first who I knew I had, all the time knowing that time could be running out. I found her. She met me and put me in touch with my birth mother. But what i hadn't thought of was all the Uncles, Aunts and Cousins I had. It was a great shock. I still feel sometimes guilty about betraying my Mom and Dad. But we are working slowly one step at a time. I had been without her for 30 years and it has been difficult but we are getting there slowly.Carol's Story
Where do I start. Well I was a young girl scared and pregnant with a boyfriend I had already split from. And then I had to make a life changing decision and I chose adoption for my baby boy. We all know how hard that it is in itself but I didn't realize how much I would think of my baby. I had thought I would be able to put him to the back of my mind. How wrong I was! Birthdays, Mother Day's any time I saw a baby and later a small child of about the same age I always wondered how he was. Then many years later I had a son followed by a daughter and boy although I still never forgot I had my wonderful children and focused on them. One day I met Maddy who was an adoptee who was searching for her Birth Mom and our first search began. My mind obviously returned to my son, who was at this time 22yrs old, so after Maddy found her Birth Mom I had to know my son was ok, but at this point I had a daughter 15 (see her story below)and a son 18 who knew nothing about him and so telling then became a priority,it wasn't easy and my son didn't handle it very well at all as he always though the was first born and only son, but we worked through it. My daughter has been a tower of strength and totally supportive. So my search could start. Lots of dead ends and tears later Another Success. We had traced him. However I have not had contact as he is not ready so my story has of yet no end! But I feel I have done all I can and at least I know he is happy and well and that is a relief in itself. Maddy spoke to his Mom on my behalf as I didn't want to upset anyone,and his Mom then spoke to him and explained I was trying to make contact,but she told Maddy he didn't want to know about me right now and I can only honour what he wants. However his Mom did sent me a photo of him...........Oh boy I cant explain how that felt looking at a picture of a little boy aged about 10 years old knowing he is my son and he is the double of me, this was a shock as I had always imagined he would look like his Dad. I also received a letter form his Mom just a nice polite letter saying thank you but it wasn't what I wanted. I now find myself asking did his Mom tell him I was looking or did she panic 'as I might' and say nothing. Neither Maddy or myself has actually spoken to my son. I don't think I dare push this as if she is being honest then he will hate me for disbelieving her, but if she is not then he may be angry with her for not telling him. So for now I sit and wait and maybe try a more direct approach in a years time.Katie's Story
Hi, I am 16 years old and in the past year or so I have had a few shocks. First of all I found out that my uncle was adopted by my Nan and he was looking for his birth family. I helped him search as much as I could and eventually we found his birth mom and along came other members of his family. I was excited about this and so when my moms friend found out about what had happened she wanted help finding her birth family as well. All was going great, my mom and myself had already found two birth family's and so I knew what it was all about, but nothing could prepare me for the shock I had coming. One night my mom sat me and my older brother Tom down and told us that when she was only a little older than I am now she had given birth to a healthy baby boy, but for various reasons (she explained the reasons to us)she had to give him up for adoption. This was such a shock, she had just told us we had an older half brother. Tom seemed more hurt than me because he thought he was her first child and the only boy. He didn't talk much about it. We were even more shocked when Mom said she would like to search for him. I tried to be as supportive as I could. But I felt no one had given a lot of thought to how this would affect me and my brother, or how we were feeling. I found it difficult to find a web site where I could talk to and get advice from other sibling in our position. Anyway after months of searching we managed to trace my half brother. To my RELIEF he wasn't ready to talk to my mom. I felt guilty about feeling relieved and so tried to focus on how my mom must have felt. She told me she was expecting that to be his reaction and she seemed ok, and was understanding about his decision.BACK